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Communication Skills
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
The Truth About Communication
Why is it that so much of our communication is misunderstood? After all, it's pretty simple isn't it - one person speaks, another one listens. And yet, miscommunication happens all the time.
The truth is, communication is not a simple black and white process. After all it involves people. And once you add the human element to any process a lot of weird and wonderful things are bound to happen.
In communication I call these things "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". Together they identify the key reasons why miscommunication occurs.
The Good - Intentions
The good news is that people's intentions are usually good. Even if they are communicating ineffectively or inappropriately their intention is good. For example a manager giving instructions may sound like a dictator but the intent is to provide guidance, a parent may scold a child but the intent is to educate about dangerous situations, a customer may get angry but the intent is to rectify a problem. Unfortunately, intentions are often misinterpreted. Consider the following tips:
- Don't jump to conclusions. Ask questions if intentions are unclear.
- Stop communicating if intentions are not good (rumour, gossip, malice, lies, etc.)
The Bad - External Distractions
External distractions are those things that are going on in the environment around us. Try to minimize these or postpone the communication. External distractions include:
- things the sender is doing
- things the receiver is doing
- any sensory distractions in the physical environment (smell, sound, sight, etc.)
- poor technical skills (vocabulary & grammar)
- bad communication habits ("uh", "you know", "like")
The Ugly - Internal Distractions
We can't see internal distractions but they are present in all of us. They set the stage for how we will interpret what is being communicated. Be aware of your internal distractions that may include:
- perceptions
- pre-judging
- hidden agendas
- other thoughts
- emotions
- prejudices/biases/stereotypes (based on education, experience, upbringing, roles, age, gender, ethnicity, etc.)
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